Frankenstein (1931)

oNCe word of me reviewing scary movies reached my grandma suddenly she's giving me all sorts suggestions. turns out theres no easy way to tell your grammie that her taste in movies stinks!!! luckily she cant actually read this because she cant work a computer and relies on me to print these out for her. (obviously i'll be skipping this one when i bring her my weekly prints)

so i come home today from the grocery store (i go there a few times a day to check all the coin slots on their coke, crane, pony ride ect machines) and find Frankenstein with a big bow on it sitting on my bed. Great! Since I didnt have any money to go to the theaters ( really want to see paranormal activity 2!) i decided why not and popped it in.i'm surprised my grandma actually got a dvd instead of vhs or like an old movie reel or something. (you never know!!!!)

so as you may or may not know this ones a real bore fest. i had to drink like a whole 2 liter of coke just to stay awake!  and like that movie Clerks it's in black and white. great. what the HECK happened with Ted Turners colorvision thing he was always talking about? did he miss one or what???




im as mad as you are ted, where the heck is my color??? i feel like im watching a movie on a gameboy or something

this one is about this unnamed scientist who creates a monster named Frankenstein. Not sure why the name was chosen but my guess is the film producers probably thought the name sounded scary or something.

so the scientist makes this monster, then him and his buddies just gang up on it and beat the crap out of it until it flips out and escapes. im guessing the writer of the film had a bad experience in high school and wrote this movie so people would feel sorry for him. Maybe this kind of stuff got you a hot GF in his day.

eventually the monster runs around and the townsfolk decide that it must die because its different. it grunts and yells and then theres this big climatic scene where they burn down a windmill and they assume the monster has died.

excuse me? where the heck is the horror??? did they think people would be scared because he's all weird looking? i don't get it! how did this movie become so popular? i guess because old people are senile or something.



despite the fact that its probably filled with romance, i would have rather seen the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein. the bride is hot as heck. def. wouldn't have any trouble staying a wake in that one! wonder if that actress is single???


because its utter lack of horror, thrills or chills, the absense of color, the weird name, the feel of a high school coming of age, the senseless killing of frankenstein and the lack of any real reason to sit through this peice of utter garbage i must give this "film" my absolute lowest rating, ** two stars.