Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Well its almost summer and we all know what that means! A bunch of dumb sequels and comic book/video game/80s cartoon adaptations.

This movie is both a dumb adaption and a sequel. It's actually an adaptation of a theme park ride from dinsery world! Can you believe it??? Walt must have been sitting on a pile of money ($$$) crossing off a list of things to make movies about and was shocked his beloved pirate ride in his theme park wasn't a multi-movie franchise. Once they've used all the ideas from this will The Mystery Of Splash Mountain be next??? Probably!!!

cool lets make a movie
out of it!!!
I'd never seen any of the other Pirates movies but decided I'd check this one out as I hadn't reviewed a movie in a while and I found 11$ in the gutter. TThey must have really run out of ideas in this one because they were stealing stuff from all sorts of stuff!

Early in the movie Angela gets up on this rafter and starts throwing barrels at Jack Sparrow... sound familiar??? Here maybe this will spark your memory:




Then shortly after Jack hops in an elevator... not unlike another early NES game Elevator Action!


Can you believe it???

Not to mention all the sword fighting they stole from Zoro!

Lets get to the plot now. Everyone is runnign to get to this "fountain of youth" (something obviously lifted from "Tuck Everlasting") Everyone is Black Beard, the Spanish, and the English. They all want to live forever except for the spanish they just want to mess stuff up for no real reason.

Most the movie is just them on boats cleaning the boards or talking about mermaids or whatever. It was like they were just trying to pass as much time as possible. There were several scenes where i could have swore i saw some of the extras checking their watches!!!

There's not really a whole lot to write about. Nothing much happened in this movie except what the director assumed the audience wanted to see. There was plenty of peg leg screen time, sword fights, plank walking, talking parrots. Typical pirate fare. Nothing too exciting. I should havfe left that 11$ in the gutter instead of supporting Walt's idea of entertainment. I give this film my lowest possible score, ** two stars.