Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987)

aS mentioned in my last post, I'm on a mission to find at least ONE movie that I like. I'm taking suggestions from my beloved readers, who are aiding in my quest. Today's suggestion comes from some sick sadomasochist named Rick who suggested "Hard Ticket To Haiwaii". I asked people to recommend their favorite movies, but this prankster either has some sort of majer brain problems or sent me a dud on purpose to waste my time!



this jerk wasted my time!!!!


I've never even heard of this one before, and now I know why!!! Within the first minute we are introduced to a topless woman, in fact this film is filled with bikini clad and topless women. If I hadn't spent countless hours exposing myself to pornography i wouldnt be desensitized to all that and might have gotten at least some joy from the women.

Apparently all of Hawaii there are only like 5 residents and a few tourists. All of the island is policed by two dimwitted lesbians. I feel like I need to mention at this point that this is not a spoof movie like "scarry movie" and it's not a porno. It was actually in theaters.


Pictured above, the lesbian police officers.

Eventually the plot starts to slowly trickle in and some guys on a boat send a toy helicopter to the middle of some forest where the lesbians are hiking through. They find some bags on it and take it. Before they can leave some dudes jump them, they throw a stick and a chinese star a them and get away. When confronting their boss later he mentions that it looks like they had almost been killed. What the heck??? Did they have a 20 minute deadline when writing this thing??

There's also weird skits thrown in, like one where some lady meets up with a fast talking new york television director who attempted to rape her the previous night for lunch. When she mentions the attempted rape he says "that was last night this is today.There's also a scene where some guys dance around on a boat making fun of chinese people.  what the heck??? The movie box said that this was action adventure movie but it seems like its trying harder to be a comedy. But the real problem is the comedy isn't funny and the only action adventure part is a 5 minute frisbee throwing contest!!!



this guy has some pretty fancy moves, but it's not worth watching the whole movie for!!


The plot is the girls found diamonds on that helicopter and some BAD GUYS want them!! It also has stuff like snakes that have been tainted by cancer infested rats and really cheap spy equipment a sprinkled in to keep things "interesting".

This movie is filled with bad acting, bad jokes, unknown actors, and to top it off it was directed by the black sheep of the sadaris family. I hope that rick guy falls off a cliff!!! If it wasn't already obvious, I will be giving this movie my lowest rating, ** two stars.


Hopefully the next suggestion will be better!