Monday, June 6, 2011

X-Men: First Class (2011)

Summer comic book movie #2. This movie is a first class turd! What a waste of my valuable time.

You may have started getting excited when you learned that you'd get to see the exciting origins of the x0-men. See Maghneto and Professor X become friends and see the x-men form. 

But guess what we get instead??? A boring history lesson disgused as an action movie. Did I really pay 11$ for a school lesson??? What the heck?

The movie starts out in World War One and during the Holocaust. We learn a little about the Holocaust, nazi experiments ect. Your average WW1 history lesson. But we see Magneto there for a little bit so suddenly it's REALLY an xmen movie, right??

Well flash forward a few years and now the focus shifts from WW1 all the way to the cold war. Yeah this movie is about a war where no one does anything!!! But in between clips of JFK speaches and random facts about Russia we see x-men training and blowing stuff up. To the untrained eye we're watching an action film but to a seasoned film buff (like myself) it's easy to see it's actually just a stock footage collection from random History Channel specials inter-weaved with footage they shot of x-men blowing up dummies and cursing. Almost fooled me but not quite!

There was also a bunch of lessons about tolerence and your average "dont judge a book by its color" stuff because you know what makes a 2 hour history lesson more fun? A bunch of preachy life lessoons!!!!!!!

Also I noticed after leaving the movie theater there were a lot of guys waiting by the bathrooms for their girlfriends to come out. I chuckled to myself as I walked past them. What a waste of time! I was able to leave right away since I saw the movie by myself! Nothing can slow me down!!!

There wasn't really any redeaming things about this movie except for a few scenes or girls in their underwear (which was pretty cool! almost worth the price of admission!!!) everything else was just a weird history lesson with seemingly unrelated footage of the xmen flying around blowing things up inbetween. For these reasons I must give this film my lowest possible score, ** two stars!

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