Saw 3D (2010)

What a wild night I had last night!!! My grandma thought since i spend so much time watching movies by myself that I was lonely!! So she sets me up on a blind date with some girl that goes to her church! GREAT. Grandma sure has been doing as much as she can to screw up my loife! At least I was able to con her out of 40$ to pay for the tickets (and I pocketed the rest!)

I go pick up this girl, she says shes ok with scary movies so I promptly suggest Saw 3D. She hadn't heard of it but agreed and I bought the tickets. She seemed OK except she kept going on and on and stuff her and her friends do! I haven't even met these people and I already hate them! Unfortunately when she asked what i did i mentioned this blog and after the movie she went home and read it. I had forgotten that I had voiced my opinion on women in yesterdays post and she texted me and said a few choice words of her own and now im not allowed to get in contact with her. OH WELL.

Lets get to the movie. I had never seen any saw movies before but I heard they were pretty wild! The movie starts with a girl getting sliced up by her two current boyfriends for revenge. Pretyt gory stuff but I thought she deserved it.




the scariest part of this movie waas the fact that this characters face kinda looked like my grandma...

I guess the theater was too cold or something because that girl kept like hugging on to me for warmth. I suggested she take my jacket so we could enjoy our personal space.

Theres not really a whole lot to say about this movie. Theres not good acting, no real story, and just a bunch of people getting mutilated and stuff! I almost puked my guts out!! I know at least my date did a few times, because she ruined a perfectly good bag of popcorn!!!

 Is this some sick sadomasochists sick wet dream or something??? what the heck!!!!!! I guess instead of trying to make a scary story or bother with any story at all they just have this guy walk around a hallway and watching people get killed in some really messed up ways! Maybe the movie studio accidently ordered too much fake blood so they called director Kevin greutert and asked him to get rid of it.

The 3D effects were the same lame 3D effects all 3D movies use, they just stop the movie and chuck stuff into the audience from time to time. Stuff like bullets, lead pipes ect are constantly finding ways to come your way.  Is this really worth the extra 6$ for the effects? i think id rather just hang out with a buddy (if i had one) and we could chuck stuff at each other while smashing ketchup packages. What a wasted night!




3D effects reached their peak in the 3d episode of "Tool Time"

CHeap 3D effects, no story, bad acting, and another uselesss hollywood sequel leave me no choice but to give this my lowest rating yet, ** two stars


PS: Lucy im sorry..

Devil (2010)

Suge Knight Shyamalan may have dropped the ball with The Last Airbender, but i wasn't about to give up on him. After delivering psychological thriller "The Happening" and the spine tingling action/horror movie "Lady in The Water" i figured it'd be fine to go catch his latest offering "fDevil"

this is the first movie in the planned "The night chronicles triology" films where supernatural things happen in modern enviremonts (just like twilight zone/??) this one is called Devil.

guess what its about???

the DEVIL

instead of making it implied every five minutes someone says something like "uh oh! looks like the devil is here!" just in case anyone is in doubt what the movie is supposed to be about, and in case they didnt catch the movies title.

three things happen in this movie. 

1. a cop stands around making wild guesses (how the heck does he think of his stuff? did he even pass cop school? doubtful)
2. the people stand in an elevator as the lights flick

3. firefighters cut a whole in a the wall. this cutting takes the hole movie to happen and no progress happens unless the camera is on them. what are they doing??? taking breaks???

also how the heck did this movie cost 10$ million dollars? 80% of the movie is people standing in the elevator. theres no special effects and no big name actors. did Suge Knight Shyamalan need 9.5$ to jot the story down on a napkin??? that's the only thing i could figure out (but i'm open to suggestions!!!)

in the movie the devil is just some overweight lady. a metaphor about our capitalist society. while thats a good lesson and all i think that this devil would have been much scarier!!!

there's not really much more to say about this movie except don't go see it. just rent the happening if you're interested in some classic  Shyamalan. this movie obviously draws heavely from 2002's thriller "Phone Booth" and just sticks the devil and some poorly trained cops and firefighters in for some much needed comedic relief.  despite my initial excitement i cant recomend this one, and i must give it my lowest rating, ** two stars