Today we have a special guest reviewer, Humanity! Check him out on twitter! Now I'll turn it over to him:
Some of you might have seen trailers for the new Nicolas Cage movie "Drive Angry" and have been just itching to see it! I know I have! Being a premiere action star of this century, Cage doesn't turn down any role that involves him and a whole lot of badarsery. The movie presents the audience with an unheard of situation! Nick Cage breaks out of hell in an old American muscle car and goes on a quest of vengeance in order to save his last remaining relative before she is sacrificed in the name of satan at midnight! For those of you who haven't stormed out of your chairs to go watch this from just that description alone, well you're welcome to stay for the entire review.
Being a premiere action star you are granted many perks in the industry. No self respecting leading male will bother learning his lines these days. Cage's delivery is so flat and monotone that you start to wonder whether the real reason he wears those sunglasses throughout the movie isn't because he's reading a prompter in
background. This is character building at it's finest. You might have expected this and were prepared for bad acting - after all this is a Nicolas Cage film right?? But you really haven't seen bad acting until you've experienced Drive Angry. The film opens up with our leading character Milton, played by none other than Cage himself,
chasing after some bumpkin satan worshipers. Milton is a bonafide badarse that drives old muscle cars, wears old leather jackets and shoots stuff with a shotguns. There is no depth to his character whatsoever nor to the movie itself. Soon after Milton gets hitched up with the character of Piper, a no-nonsense butt kicking waitress with a southern drawl played by the lovely Amber Heard. Actually everyone in the movie has a souther drawl. The two get tangled up in Cage's crazy quest against time and sure enough Piper develops slightly creepy paternal feelings for her relentless companion. What follows is a lot of car driving, shooting, and complete lack of respect for anyones good taste. I think I'll stop right there and spare anyone reading the rest of the plot. I wouldn't want to ruin any of the surprises! The biggest surprise for the audience must have been the fact that Cage escaping from hell was actually written in as a plot twist into the movie. Seeing as the trailer spelled out exactly that, it seems strange the feature itself actually tippy toes around the subject until roughly halfway through when they come out and expose this amazing secret.
This is a 3D feature so of course theres plenty of special effects to go around. There are plenty of objecting exploding and flying at the screen. Unfortunately the theatre where I attended the showing didn't deem the movie worthy enough of a big auditorium so most of the amazing special 3D effects were lost on me. The gore level is quite high as the main weapons used all around are shotguns and farm tools. If you enjoy seeing legs and arms getting blown off with chunks of flesh flying everywhere then you are in luck! There are many comedic moments as well, intentional and not. A motel shootout scene involves Nick Cage having sex with a waitress while fending off waves of bumpkins storming his room. Cage is fully clothed during this scene while the waitress is stark naked so don't get your hopes up! It is very entertaining to see the two roll around in mid-intercourse while avoiding pitchforks and shovels thrust their way. All scenes involving William Fichtner, who plays the 'Accountant' (from Hell) are quite funny as he speaks in a distorted Agent Smith type voice and gives relentless pursuit to Cage. The audience was bursting with laughter when the antagonist/satanist of the movie Jonah King(played by Billy Burke) bends over an injured Milton and brings up a bone shaped walking stick announcing "see this femur here? It's the last thing left of your daughter!"
It's not clear whether Drive Angry was written as a serious action flick or purposefully made to be a "so bad it's good" type of deal. The show this humble reporter attended was compromised of people that knew exactly what they were there for. Within the first opening lines of the movie everyone was laughing hysterically and the laughs kept on coming. If you found some money, or are somehow entitled to see this feature for for free then go with some friends and have a good laugh. Nicolas Cage is part of a dying breed of actors that will literally
take any role, any script no matter how awful and revel in it. Amber Heard is pretty hot but don't get your hopes up for any skin from her, although there is a bit of nudity here and there!
The final verdict is 3 Dings out of 5 simply because I didn't fall asleep and I laughed a lot more than if I were to watch an Adam Sandler comedy.
Some of you might have seen trailers for the new Nicolas Cage movie "Drive Angry" and have been just itching to see it! I know I have! Being a premiere action star of this century, Cage doesn't turn down any role that involves him and a whole lot of badarsery. The movie presents the audience with an unheard of situation! Nick Cage breaks out of hell in an old American muscle car and goes on a quest of vengeance in order to save his last remaining relative before she is sacrificed in the name of satan at midnight! For those of you who haven't stormed out of your chairs to go watch this from just that description alone, well you're welcome to stay for the entire review.
Being a premiere action star you are granted many perks in the industry. No self respecting leading male will bother learning his lines these days. Cage's delivery is so flat and monotone that you start to wonder whether the real reason he wears those sunglasses throughout the movie isn't because he's reading a prompter in
background. This is character building at it's finest. You might have expected this and were prepared for bad acting - after all this is a Nicolas Cage film right?? But you really haven't seen bad acting until you've experienced Drive Angry. The film opens up with our leading character Milton, played by none other than Cage himself,
chasing after some bumpkin satan worshipers. Milton is a bonafide badarse that drives old muscle cars, wears old leather jackets and shoots stuff with a shotguns. There is no depth to his character whatsoever nor to the movie itself. Soon after Milton gets hitched up with the character of Piper, a no-nonsense butt kicking waitress with a southern drawl played by the lovely Amber Heard. Actually everyone in the movie has a souther drawl. The two get tangled up in Cage's crazy quest against time and sure enough Piper develops slightly creepy paternal feelings for her relentless companion. What follows is a lot of car driving, shooting, and complete lack of respect for anyones good taste. I think I'll stop right there and spare anyone reading the rest of the plot. I wouldn't want to ruin any of the surprises! The biggest surprise for the audience must have been the fact that Cage escaping from hell was actually written in as a plot twist into the movie. Seeing as the trailer spelled out exactly that, it seems strange the feature itself actually tippy toes around the subject until roughly halfway through when they come out and expose this amazing secret.
This is a 3D feature so of course theres plenty of special effects to go around. There are plenty of objecting exploding and flying at the screen. Unfortunately the theatre where I attended the showing didn't deem the movie worthy enough of a big auditorium so most of the amazing special 3D effects were lost on me. The gore level is quite high as the main weapons used all around are shotguns and farm tools. If you enjoy seeing legs and arms getting blown off with chunks of flesh flying everywhere then you are in luck! There are many comedic moments as well, intentional and not. A motel shootout scene involves Nick Cage having sex with a waitress while fending off waves of bumpkins storming his room. Cage is fully clothed during this scene while the waitress is stark naked so don't get your hopes up! It is very entertaining to see the two roll around in mid-intercourse while avoiding pitchforks and shovels thrust their way. All scenes involving William Fichtner, who plays the 'Accountant' (from Hell) are quite funny as he speaks in a distorted Agent Smith type voice and gives relentless pursuit to Cage. The audience was bursting with laughter when the antagonist/satanist of the movie Jonah King(played by Billy Burke) bends over an injured Milton and brings up a bone shaped walking stick announcing "see this femur here? It's the last thing left of your daughter!"
It's not clear whether Drive Angry was written as a serious action flick or purposefully made to be a "so bad it's good" type of deal. The show this humble reporter attended was compromised of people that knew exactly what they were there for. Within the first opening lines of the movie everyone was laughing hysterically and the laughs kept on coming. If you found some money, or are somehow entitled to see this feature for for free then go with some friends and have a good laugh. Nicolas Cage is part of a dying breed of actors that will literally
take any role, any script no matter how awful and revel in it. Amber Heard is pretty hot but don't get your hopes up for any skin from her, although there is a bit of nudity here and there!
The final verdict is 3 Dings out of 5 simply because I didn't fall asleep and I laughed a lot more than if I were to watch an Adam Sandler comedy.
this movie doesnt even get 1 star. u suck at ur reviews. get a job
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