Movie Review: My Soul To Take (2010)

My soul to take is wes cravens latest offering. he is best known for making the movie "screem" 3 times.

the movie starts with 30 or so dream sequences put into one minute, then a guy kills his pregnant wife, then he gets killed a few dozen times by the cops. suddenly in the ambulance they say he probably has 7 souls for each person he killed in him thats why he wont die. then the ambulance explodes. 

then some kids try to resurrect him and the cops chase them away. then as this one kid is going back home he gets killed by this ripper guy (he's back!) then it flashes to another kid crawling though the window. suddenly he's listening to a radio station all about condors while a montage plays of him making a bird out of junk in his room. what the heck??? what am i watching??? This all happened in the first 20 minutes. Make sure you count the amount of times the word "condor" is used!! it's like they were going for a guinness world record or something!!!


its also worth mentioning that the main character is named bug. is Wes trying to scare us or gross us out by making us subconsiosly think of spiders and stuff??? just stick to slashers and leave the deep psychological stuff to someone else, you're not very good at it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i brought my camera with me to the theater so i could snap a few shots to use for screenshots in case i could find any on the web. of course some whiny lady goes and complains and i get thrown out!! no justice in the world. so after i got thrown out i had to go to another theater and pay to go see it again. you owe me 10$ Wes Craven!!!!!!

the only screen shot i was able to get before someone snitched on me. next time maybe just watch the movie instead of hassling me!!!!!

for the first 40 minutes i kept thinking two things:
did wes craven take a bunch of random footage, put put it on random then mail it as fast as he could to the theaters??? number two: am i on drugs. i thought about scheduling a drug test to make sure somoene hadnt slipped me anything (possibly a hot girl trying to have her way with me!!!) either wes decided after those 40 minutes to give the audience some sort of easier (barely!) to follow story or someone else took over i dont know.

i dont really know what to say about this movie!!! i was surprised that it wasn't a remake and i also was pleased that i couldn't instantly tell what movie it ripped off but i couldn't follow the plot at all! and i saw it one and a half times!!! (thanks to that b#*&@ who got me kicked out of the theater) because of that i must give this my lowest possible rating, ** two stars. 

ps once again this movie has no topless women so if thats why you go see horror movies skip this one too.

Movie Review: Nightmare Before Elm Street (2010)

Since Halloween is coming up soon I will be doing a review of a horror movie EVERY DAY until Halloween is over.

Todays' reveiw is Nightmare Before Elm Street, another big movie produced by michael bay. One thing i've got to say is what an original story! I've never even thought of an idea like this before. being a fan of the horror genre im surprised it took until 2010 for a movie to focus on someone haunting you in your dreams. i couldnt sleep for the first week after seeing it!!!! and i dont think i was the only one!!

this isn't what freddie looks like in the movie, but what if??? i think more guys would have coughed up the 12$ to see it

now i did enjoy the originality of the story but there were some glaring flaws i couldnt overlook. first of all one of the actresses (Katie cassidy) was supposed to be like 15-17 in this movie, but honestly i had a hard time believing she was any younger than 30. Did she get held back a lot??? some backstory involving sitting out in the sun a bunch??? i dont knwo im baffled!!!!!! the other actors didnt seem much younger but they were at least pretty close


Katie Cassidy celebrating the film wrap for NBES (photo courtosy of New Line Cinema)

The other weird thing was the want to be "romeo and juilet" story. as if that story hasnt been done to death! The characters Nancy and freddie had a relationship but because of the age difference and because he was a janitor and she was from the upper middle class the parents forbid it. but it has a twist, the parents decide to burn freddie alive. what the heck??? little extreme huh? then freddie comes BACK FROM THE DEAD to be with his beloved and shes like uh ew no thanks burn face, ive got a new man now! Can you imagine? then she just straight up kills the poor guy. no idea what the writers were trying to accomplish by making the star character so unlikable.

so despite its originality it was weighed down by the above flaws. a quick note to the guy readers, there are no topless scenes with any of the ladies in this one dispite it being a horror movie, so if thats the kind of thing you rent a movie for, save your hard earned money. i really would like to give this a better score but as a film cridic i have intregity. i cant just give a high score for a "nice try". Because it fell so short i must give this movie my lowest score ever given, ** two stars.