Drive (2011)

This is a movie review for Drive.

Once again, another stupid hollywood prequel. This is a prequel to 2011's "Drive Angry". How the heck did they already get a prequel going? Was there really a lot of demand for it? what the heck...

Ryan Gosling (left) stars as the driver, Carey Mulligan as Irene (left)
Promo shot courtesy Bold Films

This one is telling the story about how John Milton (nicholas cage in drive angry) (just refered to as "driver" in this movie and played by someone else) went from just driving to driving angry. Not really something anyone who saw the first movie was probably very interested in. Oh well here we go anyway!

Not a whole lot happens in the movie, just some dude living in an apartment who is really good at driving!! some lady asks the mob if he can be in Nascar. The mob agrees but only if they can kidnap the woman. Everyone agrees and the driver drives nascars until he gets mad as heck that the lady is kidnaped and now he's angry! Cue the credits and now we can watch drive angry knowing how the driver became John Milton.

No one cared how he became JOHN MILTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Aren't they a little late for the nascar "craze"?? Remember when everyone was talking about nascar for like two weeks?? Yes, I didn't capitilize nascar on purpose. I hope some miller lite swigging texans don't flip out and say mean things to me!! I also didn't capitalize texas. Deal with it!!!

What a stupid movie!! I can't believe i sat through all of that. Good grief! It goes without saying that i've got to give this movie my lowest possible rating, ** two stars 

Pulp Fictino (1994)

Sorry i'm reviewing all these freaking old as heck movies but i haven't had much money lately so i've been having to stick to whatever comes on HBO.

Speaking of Pulp, has anyone ever had ocean spray orange juice??? WHats with that stuff? It's gross as heck! Ocean Spray? More like skunk spray! That's closer to what it taste's like!!!! I almost barfed 20 gallons of puke when I drank it. I don't know what was happening in my grandma's head when she bought it! She knows I like Minute Made! It was made in a minute and that's something i can respect.

Makes me want to barf just looking at it! Blegh!

As for the movie, it's another hippy drug movie. People are always doing drugs, and of course there's no consequences!!! Just a bunch of drug users throwing up the peace sign and sitting around having drugged up conversations about mcdonalds!

Also what was with the editing in this thing? Did the director keep getting bored with whatever story/character he was on and then switch then suddenly remember he had to finish the other story? This guy must have ADD or something he needs ridalin fast!!!!!!!!

Then towards the end they kept going backwards! What a rip off of Back to the Future! They even actually WENT TO THE 50'S AT ONE POINT. I'M NOT EVEN JOKING! Why do i even watch movies anymore they're all the same!!

Nothing really stood out positive in my head after watching this, not even any real cool swears, but there was a lot of swears so if you have to see this write down the swears and use them if you need to, because there's one for pretty much any situation! As for my rating, it appears i must give this my lowest possible score, ** two stars. Thank you.

Natural Born Killers (1994)

HI! I haven't been watching many movies lately (trying to build a ship in a bottle, it's hard as heck!) but I watched this movie last night. First of all... what the heck? What a weird movie... can't believe this got made.

First thing I noticed about it was they kept switching from black and white to color. This was really confusing! One of two things could have caused this. 1. they filmed some of this movie back before movies were colorised (maybe) 2. they kept running out of money and had to borrow their dads old black and white camera (posssibly)

Either one is possible but both don't make sense! If it's been 50+ years since you started your movie and it's still not done then give up! if this happened then can you imagine the amount of money they blew on makeup/wigs ect trying to make the actors look like the actors from the original film?? Why not just refilm it??? Weird...

If they kept running out of money where did they suddenly keep getting the funds?? Allowence every other week? Trading in alluminum cans? We'll never know.

Also the cameras kept flopping all over the place from side to side. Could they not find a sober camera man?? I guess not! If you have to have a camera man who's an alchohalic at least try to limit his daily beer intake until shooting is done. What a bunch of amatures!!!!!

THe plot wasn't much better. It was about two people who just drove around killing people and kissing. I can stand watching some of the cool (but gross as heck) killigs but it's like the directors girl friend was sitting there making sure there was equal amount of kisses to kills. Not cool! How about cut that leash from around your neck, dude???

WB put thsi movie out and it sure WAS wb... weally bad!!!

As you can probably guess I wasn't very impressed with this movie. Too much kissing and the weird budget/time whatever happened to this movie just ruined it. Not really too much I can say positive abotu it except you get to hear a lot of cool swears. I give this "film" my lowest possible rating, ** two stars!!